How to Keep Dating Your Husband: 5 Tips to Keep You BOTH Happy

After the kids come along, it’s pretty easy for couples to put working on their marriage off to the side. In fact, I’m firmly convinced that this has a lot to do with today’s divorce rate: too many couples allow their marriages to slide while they focus all of their time and energy on raising their children. While the kids are definitely important, raising them shouldn’t come at the expense of your primary relationship. And yes, I went there. Your marriage, not your children, should be your primary relationship in life. After all, parenting is about preparing our kids to eventually spread their wings and fly off to lives of their own, while our marriages are supposed to be forever.

Dating is an important part of marriage and something that far too many couples don’t make an effort toward nearly enough. Of course your relationship will change after kids come along, but that’s no reason that you shouldn’t still date your husband or wife while you’ve got kiddos at home. If it’s been awhile since you made an effort to actually date your husband, here are some ideas for getting things started again.

1. Mark it on your calendar.

Make dates a priority in your life. Make your time together non-negotiable. Let your kids know that this is mummy and daddy’s time to spend together. Anticipation can be a fun part of dating. And even if you’re only slipping out for a walk to enjoy an ice cream together on a summer evening, it’s good to have something to look forward to. Importantly both of you should make an effort.

2. Dress up!

Remember how fun it used to be to get dressed up for a night out on the town? Spend a little extra time getting ready for your dates with hubby, even if it just means putting on a shirt that doesn’t have spit-up stains on it. A little extra effort lets your partner know that they’re worth it, and makes it feel like a special occasion. Wear things that will tickle his fantasy, don’t go competing for 20 years old girl, look chic(ky), look sexy, look classy, wear a cool sexy perfume, he will appreciate all your effort.

3. Hold hands.

Holding hands is one of those little things in life that can really help you feel connected to your partner. A simple touch can say, “I’m here, and I’m paying attention.” It will also help to remind you of the good old days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. That is the power of touch; don’t be shy about, express it and keep him with your gaze.

4. Don’t talk about the kids.

It can be easy to fall into the trap as parents where you spend all of your time focusing on your kids. The point of dating your spouse is to focus some time on the other things you have in common with them. Put talk about the cute thing that Sally did at dinnertime on the back burner and choose some adult conversation instead. Talk dirty, talk naughty, crack jokes and gossip about friends and laugh very hard.

5. Flirt.

Flirting is important for keeping the spark alive in your marriage. It reminds your partner that you see them not just as a parenting partner, but as your lover as well. Take yourselves back to the early days of dating and make sure that you let your spouse know that you think they’re attractive and interesting. Bonus points if you’re able to make them feel like a hot and bothered teenager again.