Naming a Guardian for Your Child: Problems and Solutions

Before you read this piece, take a second to think, if you are dead, who would you want to have the custody of your children? If you are in a position to nominate guardian for your children, who will that be?

After listening to a heart breaking story of how a man mysteriously died leaving behind his wife and 2 children, and within one month the wife died, leaving 2 children 14 and 7years old. This was a very comfortable family and at their death, relatives rushed in to grab whatever they can without even considering the plight of those children. Relatives on both sides were on each other’s throat on who gets what property, there was no will and the children were minors.  

It took the grace of God for these children to go through school, they were passed from one relative to the other, thanks heaven that the most senior of them is out of university and has joined the military a career most likely might not have been considered if the parents were alive, or if they had a better upbringing.

This brings me to the focus of this discussion, the need to nominate a guardian for your children, just in case life throws a blow, atleast one will be rest assured that one’s children are where one wants them to be especially minors, since we copy all these practice from western world, we should copy more beneficial ones.  Here are all you need to know about nominating a guardian

I understand that this goes with a will, but where you are yet to make up your mind on your will, get a guardian, it’s the smart thing to do, the world is changing, more and more people are taking life assurance policy, and you might also want to consider that too.

Interestl y, we are Africans and religious people, however, this does not go against your faith or means you will die tomorrow, rather a plan, which even the bible recognize as wisdom, because you must plan.

“A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children” Prov 13:22a.

If you find yourself really stuck on who to name as your children's guardian, it might be because you've run into one of the problems listed below. If so, you're probably not just being persnickety. Many parents put off making a will because they can't decide on a guardian, but these tips might make that choice easier.

Your First Choice Is Older Than You Are

Solution: Forget about what could happen in ten years; just pick someone now and reevaluate in five years.

Focus on who could take care of your children in the next three to five years, knowing that you can change their guardian choices as the children, and their nominated guardians, grow older.

Your Family Won't Like Your Choices

Solution: Explain your wishes in writing.

Your first loyalty is to your children, and you should always make the choices that you think will serve them best. You should also know that a court challenge to your choice of guardian is unlikely -- and unlikely to succeed. A family member who wanted to overturn your choice of guardian would have to prove to a judge that there was a very good reason -- say, a child abuse conviction -- to set your choice aside.

Still, to prevent conflict as best you can, leave a written explanation of your choices. It can calm tension, and if necessary (again, this is unlikely), it could be used in court.

You Worry That Your Children Won't Like Your Choices

Solution: Talk it over with them.

If you think your children won't like your nominations for guardians, you might want to discuss it with them, especially if they're already in their teens. Children 14 or older (12 in some states) may ask the court for a different guardian than the one nominated by their parents. The judge will take their wishes into account along with other factors.

Your First Choice Is Not a Good Money Manager

Solution: Name someone else to handle the finances.

If the person you want to raise your children is not good with finances, that is easily fixed. Just name someone else to manage your children's money, and leave the guardian with only the job of making sure your child grows up well cared for and as happy as possible.

You Don't Like Your First Choice's Spouse

Solution: Name the individual, not the couple.

What if only one person in a couple is your choice for guardian? Just name the person you want -- not both of them -- as guardians. That way, if the couple divorces, your kids could stay with the person you feel closest to.

Your First Choice Lives Far Away

Solution: Name a temporary guardian in addition to a permanent one.

There's no requirement that a guardian live where you live, but having an out-of-state guardian complicates things. A nonresident may have to post a bond (a sum of money or an insurance policy) as insurance that they will faithfully perform their duties as a guardian. In addition, an out-of-state guardian would have to get the guardianship proceeding moved to the state where they live. This means more hassle (and more lawyers' fees).

If you want to name someone far away as a guardian, also nominate someone local who could serve as a temporary guardian. This person could take care of your children until your permanent guardians could get to them.

You Have Children From Previous Marriages

Solution: Focus on the needs of each child. You may end up naming different guardians for different children.

Blended families are common these days, making guardianship choices even more complicated. Some parents name different guardians for the children of different marriages. Others make a plan that would keep all the children together. Remember that guardianship doesn't come into play at all if a child has a surviving parent, and that's more likely when their parents are not living or traveling together.

You Don't Want Your Ex-Spouse to Get Custody

Solution: Name a guardian and state in your will why your ex shouldn't get custody.

If you're divorced, you may be unhappy with the idea that should you die first, your ex-spouse would get custody of your children. That's the reality, though, unless the parent is clearly unfit.If you really don't want your ex-spouse to take custody of your children, explain why in your will or in a letter. Include court records, police reports, or any other evidence of your ex's unsuitability as a custodial parent. Give that letter to your first choice for a guardian, to be used as evidence of your wishes in the case of a court proceeding.

Next Steps

Choosing a guardian can be the hardest part of making a will. For more help selecting the ideal guardian as well as creating your will, figuring out whether you need a living trust, determining how much life insurance your family needs, and keeping your estate plan current.

by: Liza Hanks, Attorney