Bribery and corruption 101 in Nigeria.

Business man: I have applied for a land for mass housing, met all the conditions and no land has been allocated to me. Government said no land but I see all the new allocations. What is going on?


Junior servant: Ha Oga!  Why you dey do like JJC? Like say you no know wetin dey. See I will take you to Senior servant,  but you must be ready to DO business,  except you no want the land.

Business mam: I am equal to the task.  I really need this land.

Junior servant: oga Senior servant,  I get business for you. Business man is ready to DO anything to get land allocation for mass housing.

Senior servant: tell him all the lands has been allocated,  he should wait till 2040 for new layout to be mapped out. But if he wants it now, we can work out something.....N800M will go a long way to settle for something.

Junior staff: it will cost you N900m to get oga Senior servant to move things around and get you a land,  Infact, it is coming with C of o and will be included in the master plan with approvals,  no demolition will come close

Business man: haba, that's too much! What size of land am I getting? Cost of construction,  how much will it sell it? That's too much.

Junior servant: I thought you are ready for business?  Do you know how much estate A paid for that land in maitama?  Estate B nko? Go and ask him....except you are not ready and they are all selling.....people need houses and they will buy.

Business man: I want to see your oga.

Junior servant: bring the money and you will see him. Bring cash oooo.

Business man: I can't carry cash oooo

Junior servant: find a way.

Business man brings the money, meet senior servant and deal is sealed.  Land is awarded and he goes home relieved but not happy.  Senior servant is living above his monthly salary,  junior servant is eating large too, Nigeria reputation is destroyed, then one day the arm of law catches them. For everyday is for the thief but one day is for the owner of the house.

LNB